December 21st 2009, 5:05 am. Welcome to the Insomnia Blog, I have a feeling I'd have many many more of these blogs in the future! For the last three hours I've been laying here in bed, lights-out and doing nothing but trying to fall asleep, but of course couldn't... I have a strange sleeping pattern? Taking advantage of my insomniac state of mind, I figured I might write a little blog... Just to see where it takes me?
First of all, hello from Taiwan! I said I'd update this lame silly blog every week or two... Sorry I haven't! You see this was the situation:
Me: "Are you kidding me! What is this dial-up internet nonsense!"
Dad: "DONGMA! I am not paying 5 dollar a month for broadband! So expensiveful..." (Good o'stingy Asian-ness!)
...to be honest, I've had internet that works for awhile now! I'm not gonna promise anything, I think Charliexter shall definitely take an indefinite-hiatus! ...I guess I'm just lazy
It's funny because one of the most common question I get asked these days by people back in Australia, is if I ate a cat or a dog yet! ...sadly I have not
The strangest thing I've eaten so far, is jellyfish and sea-cucumber... (hmm, taste like chicken!)
There was an earthquake in Taiwan yesterday, Stewie told me he knew the cause of the quake was due to "Nyaga got too excited!" ...he has a good point! ;)
"The last time Nyaga got too excited, he caused the Boxing Day Tsunami!"
And also, I finally got my own laptop... Hooray for that! It's a Macbook Pro. Call me a nerd, but I am completely in love with it! *strokes laptop gently*
...so Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all! ^_^
Friday the 13th of November. The day of Red and Will’s birthday party! Happy birthday to the boys! I’m usually not much of a party person, but the enjoyment is aplenty with this one! Parties, usually screams social awkwardness for me, but knowing pretty much everyone there definitely took that away!
This got me thinking... At every party, there’s always the typical kind of people there...
"The quiet people that you don't notice that are there"
They sit there, looking as though they are in pain, with blank looks on their faces.
Their cold and unfriendly expression makes them very hard to talk to.
Usually the next day people asked them, "Hey, so were you at the party last night?"
...usually me! ^_^
"The Seedy Guy"
Hits on every girl at the party, atleast three times each...
Talks himself up like his God's gift to women... "Where are all the bitches at? Gonna get my dick wet tonight!" (...really not cool, talking down on chicks like that!)
They pretty much never get a girl? ...but gotta love the guy for trying though? And having the confidence, or maybe you can call it "a lack of shame"!
Use the same lame pickup line for every girl: Blake: WOAH! Haven’t seen you in ages! Girl: Erm, hi? *feels uncomfortable* Blake: Do you know in the Bible, it says “Blake Wooten is this big!” Girl: Okay? ...right? *walks away*
“The Dance Floor Manic”
Previous culprits includes: Jordan and Giada! (They definitely didn't disappoint this time either!)
Koel was a machine that night, carving up the dance floor the whole night without a shirt. Wouldn’t be surprised if he was on some sort of “simulant”!
A favourite hunting ground for the “seedy guys” mentioned above to strike, as they try grind up every girl.
There should be a rule that every second song should be Paramore, Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus!
“The Couple” or “Make-out Kids”
They’re touching each other the whole time, in the dark corners of the party!
Or for the more “subtle” couple, do their business right in front of you...
Never see them half the night, and when they do emerge, they always carry a little smile on their faces, messier hair, roughed up clothing and “pash rash” around the mouth area...
Me: Yo, where’s Seth? Haven’t seen him the whole night? *Seth and Viv walks out from the dark bushes* Me: Oh, I don’t wanna know anymore... I think I just vomited a little in my mouth? ^_^
So after all the girls left (and by girls, that included the soccer boys!). That’s when the real fun began! So I hear the soccer boys like to take their shirt off, lay on mattresses to hug and make love with each other... Or what they like to call in their own words “wrestling”..? We rugby boys like to put on a pair of gloves, and punch each other in the FREAKIN head!So needless to say, things got pretty intense! And bruises were had and blood was split... Fight of the night for me, definitely goes to Stewie vs Jordan, their crazy coon-swings were intense! We had to stop because Nyaga's blood was sprayed all over the floor!
I wished there was more pictures of the boxing, but there are lots of video and photos to come! (Ask Koel and Red!)
“In the black corner, weighing in at 21 inches... NYAGA!”
Thanks for reading! Tune in next time, for more pointlessness! Charlie.
The clock reads 11 am, still one and a half hours left for this Chemistry exam! ...and I have already finished long ago! I pretty much left most of it blank, destined to fail miserably! Of course I do not encourage or condemn this (stay in school kids!) When it comes to schoolwork, there are three types of kids. Maybe you can identify yourself or fellow students and friends in one of the following categories!
The Fails
Non-TEE, wants to get an apprenticeship or TAFE
Consist of mainly boys (Rugby boys REP!)
During exams time, you envy them for all the fun and relaxing times they are having, while you’re stuck studying.
Never have big assignments/test/exams
They complain the most about school, even though they have it so much easier than everyone else.
The Semi-Fails
Takes a few TEE subjects. No idea what they want to do when they grow-up.
Consists of mainly boys (Will R, physics! WADUP!)
Doesn’t study... (Or they attempt to, but then they get lazy and distracted, so they never end up opening a single book!)
Usually gets C average grades, and barely passes...
School isn’t at the top of their priority list
...finishes their end of year chemistry exam with one and a half hours to spare?
Charlie: “Oi dude! Did you study for the physics test today?” Will: “...NO WHAT?! What physics test? NOOOOO?!” Charlie: “I didn’t study either! And it’s not like you would of studied for it anyway!” Will: “True... You ready to fail together then?” Charlie: “Yep... Just like always!”
Non-Fails
Takes all TEE subjects.
Usually grows up to be doctors, lawyers, scientists ...or a crazy serial mass murderer of prostitutes?
Schoolwork is their priority, spends all free time and social life studying.
Get stressed and complains A LOT during exam time.
Facebook status: “YAY! Finally, I can get a study break!” - “1 exam down, 47 to go!”
Consists of mainly girls. (...or boys that has never spoken to a girl)
“OMG! That test was so hard! I didn’t know anything; I bet I got like zero...” *gets their test back the next day and got 90%*
Gets straight “A”, will cry and go crazy and stab someone in the face if they get a “B”.
BONUS! The Fail-Asians
Asian kids that fail to live up to their expectations.
Bad grades, brings dishonor to the family.
Becomes a “banana” ...yellow on the outside, but white in the inside.
High risk of growing up to be a Shemale in Thailand performing pingpong tricks, or an extra in a Jackie Chan movie.
Uses their race to their advantage, has an excuse for everything.
Mrs Darliston: “Jonathan, pick up that rubbish!”
Baekjo: “What Ms? Is it because of my squints?!”
...still may contain traces of Asian, most notably the stinginess and pro bargaining skills.
Thank you for reading. Please comment, and make sure you include your name in the comment as well! Tune in next time, for more of my pointless observations!
As the exams start to approach, I start to procrastinate A LOT! Procrastinating is something I do very well, and perhaps way too much. If I was as good at schoolwork, as I am at procrastinating, I wouldn’t be such a fail Asian! Mum: “If you no bring home “A”, you bring dishonour to family...” Me:*Straight C’s in my report* Mum: “WAH!!! YOU COME HERE BOY!!!” *chases me around the house with a coat hanger to hit me with* ... oh, I love my mummy! ^_^
And here’s some other crazy Asian lady, for your viewing pleasure!
...anyways, so pretty much as I am writing this blog, I’m procrastinating! I really should do some study for my exam tomorrow?! Oh well, I’m already fail! So this got me thinking, about the biggest time wasting things we do with our lives... And here it is!
Top 5 Time Wasters of All Time!
5. Waiting in the canteen line – Our Kingsway canteen sucks! We have the crappiest foods (if you can even call it food!) and there’s always a limited supply of it! You’ll waste half your recess lining up for the canteen and when you’re at the front... "DAMMIT THERE’S NO MORE CHEESE DOGS AND CHICKEN TENDERS!" Kingsway desperately needs a bigger and better canteen!
4. Stupid Facebook games – WOO! I’m level 30 on Farmville! You will not believe the amount of time I waste each day, clicking and clicking, to plant my virtual crops! Even when I was at the hospital after a car accident, I was thinking “Damn, I need to get home in 2 hours, or else my pumpkins are gonna die! NOOOO!” Hitting on randoms on Facebook Uno with Stuart P-J is always hilarious; it usually involves a 40 year old lady shutting us down! Stewie: “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Me: “I love you!” 40 Year Old Lady: “What are you guys, 12 years old?”
3. MSN conversations that goes nowhere – You know what I’m talking about? Those awkward MSN conversations that you don’t quite know what to say, I can’t tell you the how many MSN conversations I’ve had that went: Person 1: Hey Person 2: Hello Person 1: wassup? Person 2: not much, and you? Person 1: same... nothing much... *15minutes later* Person 2: so, what are you up to? Person 1:oh, nothing much. You? Person 2: yeah, same aye. *another 15minuntes past* Person 1: So are you doing anything interesting? *...and the cycle continues*
2. Reading this blog – Seriously, you’re reading this piece of junk? I mean this Charlie guy is a nerd! No I’m kidding! I love you my readers, all 4 of you?! HAHA, please keep reading my lame blogs? ^_^
...and the number one biggest time waster of all time is..? *drum roll* 1. Clicking the “refresh” button for Facebook/Myspace! – “YAY! New comments! New status updates! Picture comments! OMG Tom Christie *Likes* this!” Admit it, we all do it! Clicking the “refresh” button, time and time again, waiting for something interesting to come up. And time and time again, disappointed by the lack of new updates... And if you’re as unloved and lame as me, this means a whole entire night of clicking “refresh” with no new updates at all... Experts* says that an average person spends three weeks of their life each year, clicking the “refresh” button on their Facebook and Myspace page! *and by experts, I mean just a random fact completely made up by me!
So everyone, good luck on your exams! Stop wasting time, and start studying! I know I’ll be trying to study the night before the exams, and falling asleep before I open any books! Thank you all for reading, and please leave a comment (oh, and please put your name in the comment so I can know who it’s from!) Tune in next time, for more of my pointless observations!
Saturday night, the 24th of October, marked a monumental occasion. It was Maddi M’s Sweet Sixteen party! And once again, I would like to wish her a happy birthday, and for hosting an awesome party! The party was at Maddi’s glorious beachside house, and with all the chicks wearing dresses and high heels, definitely made me feel like I was one of those cool kids on “The Hills” or “Gossip Girl”!
Even my socially-awkward self enjoyed the party, which might I add consisted majority of girls and a good half of them “callisthenics chicks” (Callisthenics: dancing, with gymnastic combined ...or something like that? And 99.99% of the chicks are hot!) …so with those stats, who could argue?! Certainly not my rugby boys! Who wasted no time on “getting to know these callisthenics chicks!” (HAHA! I’m just exaggerating; we’re not that seedy!)
I myself have no hope with these chicks! …so doing what I do best, I sat back and observed my boys work their magic, and admire their each and individual brilliance!
The Smooth Talking Guy
Good with the ladies, and he knows it!
He can always keep the conversation going, without a moment of awkward silence.
Charms the target with humour, and under the easy-going nature of the conversation, the girl doesn’t even realise what the “Smooth Talker” is doing!
He is confident, acts like he owns the place, and he achieves this by making another boy “his bitch”. (Thanks Lance R, for making me your personal leaning post!)
Smooth talking guy in action: *After he’s worked his magic, he reaches out for his phone to pretend he received a text message* Lance: “Hey, while I’m at it… What’s your number?”
The Sweet Talking Guy
This guy is a charmer, and he knows the right words to say to melt the hearts of a million girls!
The guy acts a little bit shy, to give the illusions that the Sweet Talking Guy is “cute”.
Compliments are bombarded towards to the girl, from left right and centre.
Puts on a fake English accent.
Sweet Talking Guy in action: Tom: “Hey! You’re the really nice brunette girl that I briefly spoken to earlier, what was your name? It was stupid of me not to get your name the first time! My name is Red H!”
The Guy that Doesn’t Even Have to Try
Doesn’t have to say a single word, and they will become the girl’s lasting impression of the night.
Pretty boy, uses a hair straightener to straighten his hair. (Koel M.)
Rockstar, usually have broken bones and a cast, which is a sign that he is very rock’n’roll! (Matt P – This End Up!)
Guy That Doesn’t Even Have to Try in action: *The Guy walks pass some girls* Girls: “Oh my gosh! Who’s that guy! He’s sooooooo hot!”
The Guy that Grinds-it-Up on the Dance-Floor
Dances like a beast!
Grinds up everyone! They often accidentally target and grind-up another boy, due to the lack of lighting on the dance-floor.
Guy that Grinds-it-Up on the Dance-Floor in action: Jordan P:*Grinds up target 1* “Oh crap sorry, it’s you Marvin! But damn, I like your moves!” Jordan P:*Grinds up target 2* “Gah! It was you the whole time Sim?! And was that your hand on my butt?!” Jordan P:*Grinds up target 3* “Oh hey Giada! Hey I love this song!” Giada: “Oh hey Jords! I love this song too!” *They grind like there’s no tomorrow!*
HAHA, obviously I exaggerated A LOT! I promise we’re definitely NOT that seedy! And the events may or may not have occurred in this fashion! But I hope this has educated and entertained you, ever so slightly perhaps? To everyone I mentioned in this blog, I love you and I want you inside me! Have my babies! Please leave a comment, and tune in next time for more of my pointless observations!
Hi, hello! And welcome to my first blog! WOO! I hope to entertain and interest you, and perhaps even to help you learn something! All through my mindless thoughts and observations of my world!!!
So today, as per usual, I attended school today. (Oh school, how I love you! *insert heavy dose of sarcasm*)
So in music class today, we had to do an aural test. For those of you that don't know what a "music aural test" is, well it is basically the teacher plays something on the piano and you have to write down what she played. This could be to write down the notes that was played, or what chords were played and to even cadences!(Yay fancy musical term! I so totally listen in class!) ...so being the complete "music-theory-idiot" that I am, I suck at aural!
Teacher: Today we're going to be doing the aural test.
Me: Damn! Scotty J, I bags sitting next to you! I'm sooooo copying you! *Sits down next to Scott*
Travis B: Get lost Charles, I will literally throw you off the seat if you don't move! (Yes, he is a bully like that...)
Anyways, so the word "aural" got me thinking. "Aural aural aural, it doesn't really roll off the tongue well does it? It kinda gets STUCK in your mouth!" ...Gah! I hate words like that! It's so frustrating, the feeling of a word being "stuck" in your mouth! It's almost like when you eat chips, and chunks of it get stuck in some areas of your teeth. Except words that get stuck in your mouth is annoying, and whereas chips-that-get-stuck is still annoying, but tasty too!!!
So I'd like to comprise a list of my FAVOURITE "words that get stuck in your mouth"!
Aural
Corporal
Floral
Barrel
Coral
Melissa Worroll (Ha I'm sure she will appreciate this!)
But my favourite has to be the word "Oral" ...because not only the actual word gets stuck in your mouth, but also "something" else! *aye aye aye! Insert sexual innuendo!*
Hmm, so what words do you hate saying?
Well, that's it for my first blog... Thank you for reading, and please leave a comment! ^_^
Charlie.
(Tune in next week! As I talk about something completely pointless and stupid!)
